


Couldn't save you, So I saved myself

by jamesm97



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: 9-1-1 Lone Star is minor, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Parenting, Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Buck Centric, Buddie (Relationship), Closure, Crossover, Dad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Drug Use, Established Relationship, Gay Bashing, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Eddie Diaz, Let's pretend Eddie's hometown is close to Austin for the sake of my sanity, M/M, Marriage Proposal, POV Evan "Buck" Buckley, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s), Post-Episode: s01e10 Austin we have a problem (9-1-1 Lone Star), Protective Eddie Diaz, Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, References to Drugs, Underage Drug Use, Upset Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22768561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesm97/pseuds/jamesm97
Summary: “When you warned me that the family was big I didn’t think you meant anything like this Abuela,” Buck says his eyes widening as they make their way into the banquet hall the hot Texas air is already making Buck sweat and being in a room with this many people isn’t going to help matters.“Hey Evan” a small voice comes from behind him and Buck’s blood runs cold his arm drops from Eddie’s face and the smile falls from his own face, he feels frozen to the spot “Long time no see”
Relationships: Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Past Evan "Buck" Buckley/TK Strand
Comments: 83
Kudos: 644





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a proper crossover fic and I don't know where this idea came from but I'm excited to explore it.

“When you warned me that the family was big I didn’t think you meant anything like this Abuela,” Buck says his eyes widening as they make their way into the banquet hall the hot Texas air is already making Buck sweat and being in a room with this many people isn’t going to help matters.

“Ah should have believed me, when I said big, I meant big, we have cousins, 2nd cousins, 3rd, 4th” 

“99th seven times removed” Eddie jokes interrupting his Abuela rolling his eyes “Plus all their kids and spouses”

Calls of ‘Edmundo’ seems to erupt all over the place and Buck’s heart clenches at the instant smile it brings out in his boyfriend’s face.

Eddie starts talking in rapid Spanish to people that come up and greet him pulling him and Chris into hugs and saying stuff Buck has no hope in hell of knowing.

Abuela is pulled away instantly as well being absorbed into the crowd, Josephina was lost to the crowd before they’d even stepped foot in the building.

Buck feels himself being wrapped into a hug from behind and when they loosen their grip, he turns on the spot inspecting who it was, and he breaks out into a huge smile “Mrs Diaz” Buck beams.

“How many times Buck, your family now it’s either Helena or ‘Suegra’ I’m so happy you could make it” She beams at him.

“Like we’d miss it” Buck waves her off “Oh Happy Birthday! We got you a gift, but Eddie wanted to give you it in private so it’s in the car” 

“A wise choice, I’ve been pulled from pillar to post since this thing started, I’ve barely had time to have a single drink let alone open presents” She chuckles “I’ve been married to Ramone for so long now it’s hard to picture a time when my birthday parties weren’t as chaotically good as they are now, the first time my birthday rolled around and all these family members came out the woodwork I was overwhelmed so if you need some air at any point don’t hesitate to grab me and we’ll make our escape together,” She tells him her hand resting on his cheek before she surprises him and leans forward kissing him on the opposite cheek.

“Now where is my baby?” She asks looking around, Buck joins her and his stomach sinks when he realises the crowd have swallowed up Eddie and Christopher.

He spots the glint of silver on the floor a few feet and a couple of dozen people away, and he points out Christopher to Helena.

She beams and pulls him along fighting her way through the crowd who seem to part for her without question most people patting her on the back as she goes.

Buck’s already way in over his head.

//////

“Buck” Ramone nods and gives him a tentative smile and honestly, that’s the most Buck can expect from the man, Eddie told him his father struggled to understand why he fell in love with Buck but Eddie had come out to his father over a year ago and the two speak but it’s tentative at best, his father has agreed Eddie’s happy with Buck and although he admits freely he’d rather Eddie settle down with a woman who can be a mother to Christopher he can’t deny how happy Eddie is and that’s enough for him no matter how begrudging the acceptance is Buck’s just happy his father didn’t disown him.

It’s not long before Buck’s pulled away by Eddie’s sisters unsure who is who they’re all so similar, they’ve got the same Texas drawl and Buck can’t help but beam when they smile at him because that smile is the same as their brothers.

He’s saved by Christopher who runs into his legs and Buck leans down to pick the little dude up and spin him around automatically, making Chris laugh like he always does. 

“What’s up buddy?”

“Can you get me some food from the buffet?” Chris asks through a yawn and Buck honestly isn’t surprised the kid was too excited to sleep on the plane even with Josephina and Isabel telling him stories on the plane to keep him entertained.

Buck turns to excuse himself from Eddie’s sisters but they just wave him away before he can say anything and he busies himself in helping Chris get food and gets some for himself as well, by the time they’d moved down the buffet line they both had two plates piled high.

He looks around for somewhere to sit but every one of the tables was overflowing with both people and food, Chris pulls on his leg and he looks down nodding.

“I saw picnic tables outside” Chris smiles and honestly Buck doesn’t think he can love the kid as much as he did then.

Picking Chris up and juggling two plates was hard especially when trying to fight through the crowd, he keeps an eye out for Eddie but doesn’t see him anywhere so he fights his way out of the party which is practically impossible as it’s outside as well, it’s not as crowded out here as inside but still quite a few people.

Chris points out an empty picnic table and they set off towards it Buck can’t help the relieved sigh as he sits down and he actually has the space to just wiggle about the air although still hot cools the sweat on his skin now that he’s not surrounded by people.

“I feel like that sometimes too” Christopher smiles digging into his food.

“Feel like what buddy?” 

“Hot and crowded? I forget sometimes how big of a family Daddy has” He says through a mouthful of food and Buck can’t help the smile of endearment that fights its way onto his face.

“I think it would be fine if I had your dad with me, but he sort of got swallowed by the crowd as soon as we came in huh?” 

“It’s cause he’s not around people don’t get to see him much, my mom used to feel the same way you did when we came to family parties, you get used to them” Chris shrugs.

“Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with a tickle monster” Comes from behind them and before Buck even lookup Chris is giggling away like a mad man being tickled by a younger dude who’s all broad shoulders and expressive eyebrows.

“Carlos” Christopher snorts out through his laugh, Chris is quick to jump out of his seat and hug the new arrival.

“Hey man, you must be Buck” the man… Carlos tells him, he offers his hand and Buck takes it automatically and shakes.

“I’m Carlos, Edmundo is like my 4th cousin or something but we grew up together literally lived like five minutes away from each other so we were practically inseparable until he joined the army, he’s told me a lot about you though, I’m so proud of him thought I’d be the only one in the family who liked men, he says with a roll of his eyes. “With a family this size you’d think they’d be more of us” he jokes, and Buck can’t help but laugh at it.

“There you guys are,” Eddie says and Buck’s eyes snap to him like he always does “I’ve been looking for you everywhere sorry we got separated,” Eddie says leaning down to capture Buck’s lips in a kiss that’s hotter than any Texas night could ever hope of being. “Brought you a beer,” Eddie tells him passing it over before looking to Carlos the two beams at each other before Eddie pulls the younger man into a hug.

“Where did all these muscles come from?” Eddie questions giving Carlos a light punch on his biceps.

“Well you know it’s Texas what else is there to do besides working out?” Carlos jokes and Eddie snorts.

"You mean when your not shooting people or eating doughnuts" Eddie teases.

"I'm sorry isn't there a cat up a tree you need to go save?" Carlos fires back just as quickly.

“Touche, So, where’s this new boyfriend of yours?” Eddie questions looking around trying to find said boyfriend “A fireman too I always knew you wanted to date me, so you got the next best thing” 

Carlos makes a gagging noise and Eddie lets out a full belly laugh, and Buck can’t help the beaming smile that comes on his face after hearing it.

“I’ll go find him and introduce you,” Carlos says punching Eddie on the arm before leaving to search for his boyfriend.

Eddie sits down heavily on the seat next to Buck and lets out a small sigh before leaning in to kiss him lightly on the lips.

“Everything okay?” Buck questions he’s surprised by how forward Eddie’s being they usually keep PDA to a minimum even in LA, but Buck had thought they wouldn’t be doing so much as holding hands in Texas.

“I’ve been asked more times in the last twenty minutes ‘What turned me’ than I hope to ever hear in my lifetime’ I swear the next person to ask me will probably end up being punched”

“I’m sorry,” Buck tells him grabbing his hand under the table.

“Don’t be I’m not ashamed of telling people I’m in love with you and that you and our son make me happy to be alive each and every day” Eddie tells him leaning in to give him a soft kiss the ends with a content sigh.

Eddie pulls Buck’s plate towards him looking at him with a questioning glance and Buck just rolls his eyes but nods at his boyfriend who wastes no time in eating.

Buck’s hand goes to his jacket pocket the sharp edges of the box digging into his hand reassures him, keeps him grounded and reminds him of what’s to come, the smile comes to his lips automatically.

“Buck” Chris asks and Buck shakes himself out of his wanderings and looks over at him.

“Yeah, buddy?” 

“We’re here for ten days, right?” Christopher questions and continues when Buck nods “What are we going to be doing?

“I’ve not a clue, Chris this is yours and your dad’s turf if this was Hershey, Pennsylvania, New York or surf Beach in South America I would so know all the best places to go to, so that means you guys are the experts and I’m counting on you to show me what El Paso has to offer”

“I still can’t believe you lived in New York or South America” Eddie snorts “How the hell did you survive in New York it’s so expensive I went once with Shannon and vowed never to go back a pizza cost me like $40”

“Yeah it was crazy expensive, I was only there for a year or so then I decided to head on down to South America get all fit and join the Marines, glad I’m too emotional otherwise I’d have never met you” Buck snorts leaning forward to kiss Eddie, Eddie leans forward to meet him in the kiss but Buck veers off and steals the food off Eddie’s fork.

Christopher starts giggling at the pout his father gives him.

“El Paso is boring, the Zoo is really fun though, we’ve got a few museums that are fun, the Wyler Aerial Tramway is absolutely stunning and the drive up to it has some of the best views, you’re going to be so glad you bought that new camera,” Eddie tells him “I’m going to get us tickets for a show at the plaza theatre and there are a few amusement parks as well, I didn’t tell you guys the best part Carlos managed to get four days off from Austin PD so he’s gonna be joining us” Eddie beams.

“Are we going to be making time to actually spend with your family this trip or are you just going sightseeing and drinking with your cousin?” Buck laughs.

“Carlos can only get four days off we’re here for another six after he leaves I’ll see my family plenty” Eddie waves him off “Besides your deluded if you think my mother won’t force her way with us wherever we go and she’ll bring my father and my sisters will tag along, so will Abuela and Josephina”

“That’s what we came here for isn’t it?” Buck’s hand moves to rest on Eddie’s cheek a small smile in place.

“Hey Evan” a small voice comes from behind him and Buck’s blood runs cold his arm drops from Eddie’s face and the smile falls from his own face, he feels frozen to the spot “Long time no see”

Buck’s face inches around to stare at the man behind him who’s stood next to Carlos his hand on the small of his back “Tyler” Buck croaks out and Tyler gives him a small smile.

“You two know each other?” Carlos asks with a smile looking between them.

“Unfortunately,” Buck mutters finding the strength to stop his legs from being like jelly and standing, he rushes past Carlos and Tyler and heads for the banquet hall he’d left, wanting more than anything to be swallowed up by the crowd he was so eager to escape from not twenty minutes ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major warnings of past homophobic abuse, physical violence and past drug use mention of depression and just general shitty life if this could trigger anyone please don't read.

“Another” Buck asks throwing back the double his face scrunching up at the burn as it goes down his throat.

“Evan?” Eddie says from behind grabbing his hand and turning him slightly away from the bar to face him.

“Where’s Chris?” he asks looking behind expecting to see Chris fighting his way through the crowd to follow his father.

“Well Carlos’ boyfriend took off when you took off, so he ran after him, Chris is with my sister I thought I’d come and see you and find out what the hell is going on?” Eddie asks his eyebrows rising in a questioning look his tone conveying both worry and curiosity.

“Here is neither the time nor the place” Buck sighs nodding to the bartender and handing over a twenty when he sets the tumbler of whisky down in front of Buck.

As if on cue the lights in the banquet hall dim and the flickering of candles twinkle in the distance and a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ erupts around the room as the hundred or so guests sing in harmony.

“Later?” Eddie questions his voice a whisper under the bellow of voices around them.

“Of course,” Buck nods his arms going around Eddie’s waist he pulls the slightly shorter man to him resting his chin on the top of his boyfriend’s head letting out a content sigh as his eyes shut and he imagines the last ten minutes didn’t happen.

“Let’s go find my mother and wish her happy birthday make sure we get some of that cake yeah?” Eddie asks pulling back slightly to look up into Buck’s eyes.

“Yeah sure, you go on ahead I’ll catch you up just let me finish this” Buck nods to his double whisky and picks it up taking a sip instead of downing it, it burns and right now it feels like a good thing.

“Don’t take too long or the cake will be gone” Eddie gives him a small smile that doesn’t seem to make his eyes crinkle like his usual smiles do but he gives his hand one last squeeze before heading off to find his mother.

He downs his drink and puts it on the bar before fighting his way through the cheering crowd and pushes his way outside.

It’s empty out here now the crowd had rushed inside to sing happy birthday, except for Carlos who looks up when Buck comes out he looks worried and springs to his feet when he spots Buck.

“What the hell was that all about?” Carlos questions him a frown on his face his mouth set in a worried line.

“That’s really not my place to say” Buck shrugs.

“Well since he was the designated driver and he just took off in the car without telling me where he’s gone it’s pretty hard for me to ask him” Carlos sighs his hand coming up to comb through his hair as he takes a sip of his beer.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you” Buck shrugs the guilt settling low in his stomach.

“I don’t know what made you both freak out so bad? Have you guys worked together before? You both work as firemen is that how you two know each other?” 

“Like I said it’s not my place to tell you his business and besides I’ve been over TK Strand's shit for years and I’d like to stay that way,” he tells the man before turning and going back into the party.

////////

His back pops slightly as he bends down and places Christopher carefully in the bed the kid doesn’t even stir slightly his sugar high had resulted in a crash an hour ago and he’s been conked out ever since.

He makes his way out of the adjoining room, leaves the door open a sliver so they can hear everything in case he has a nightmare, he hasn’t had one for weeks but the last thing they need is for him to wake up in an unfamiliar hotel room and have to deal with that alone.

“Do we have too?” Buck questions heaving a massive sigh as he sees Eddie sat at the small parlour couch a couple of bottles of mini bar whisky in front of him.

“I’d like to know so yeah please if you could? Because trust me not knowing is making me jump to all sorts of conclusions in my brain and not knowing is maddening” Eddie sighs.

“I don’t know where to start” he admits.

“The beginning?” Eddie offers.

“I was born on…” Eddie’s snort of laughter at Buck’s joke loosens something in Buck’s chest and he throws himself down on the couch laying down and spreading out, so his head was laying in Eddie’s chest, the older man immediately starts running his fingers through his hair. 

“My father was very strict growing up, Maddie left and it just meant he could focus on me more, everything I did wasn’t good enough, if I didn’t do something properly it would get me a smack so I rebelled, didn’t really try in school cut classes didn’t really study properly or do homework, I wasn’t dumb or nothing but I figured what was the point in even trying my hardest when everything I was doing or going to do would result in him berating me anyway right?”

Eddie just makes a small humming sound his hand on stilling in its carding through Buck’s hair once when he heard about his father hitting him.

"Anyway, my attendance dropped my grades never really took a bad hit though because believe it or not I’m actually pretty cleaver but colleges care about attendance so my applications to colleges weren’t successful, which meant I’d have to stay in that house for longer, I was nineteen in community college I’d brought a guy back to my place when my parents were at work, we were kissing, half-naked on the bed it was about to lead to sex when I heard my dad come in the room, he took off as I’d never seen him before, the dude ran out my room and I wish I had too because the amount of abuse I got off him had me wanting to stop being BI right then and there, I’d never heard so much homophobic abuse and hate come out of anyone before,” Buck tells him his stomach twisting so much he feels sick.

“He was only home in the middle of the day because he was cheating on my mother his mistress was downstairs as he hit me over and over and over again, I pushed him off me and ran downstairs and seen the horror on her face, I jumped in my car and just drove nothing with me accept the phone in my pocket didn’t even have shoes on my feet or a top on, blood covering my face”

Eddie makes a growling sound and Buck turns in Eddie’s lap his face facing Eddie’s stomach as he tries to curl in on himself.

“I got pulled over by the cops they pulled their guns on me, I mean who wouldn’t I looked crazy looked like I’d just murdered someone half-naked face and chest covered in blood, I turned the engine off and put my hands up, I don’t know what the police officer saw but when he opened the door he just pulled me into his arms and I just remember sobbing so much I went into a full-blown panic attack, made myself sick and everything”

“I was taken to the hospital they took my statement and he was arrested my mother divorced him he got sent down for six years he’s out now like living in Georgia the last I heard, I couldn’t step foot in that house again though, my mom tried to take me home after he’d been arrested but I just had a panic attack when I stepped into the house, I moved in with my grandmother on my mother’s side who lived in Randolph, New Jersey, she died a year later as I was getting my life back on track was about to start college in New Jersey, she left me her house so I stayed for a couple of months after the funeral whilst I waited for her house to sell decided I’d wait till the next academic college year and once the house sold I moved to New York, got a job waiting tables lived in the worst apartment known to man” 

“That’s when I met him it was almost two years after my dad was arrested I’d barely even touched myself let alone another person but with him, he always seemed so cool and in control he was hot and he made me feel like I could love again and like I could be loved again if that makes sense?” Buck questions looking up to Eddie who’s looking down taking in every word he’s saying.

“It does” Eddie nods for him to carry on.

“He wore me down over time, he gets what he wants all the time TK” Buck laughs rolling his eyes “I fell for him before we even went on a first date so when I found out three months into it that he was constantly high on whatever opioid he could get his hands on it stung, I stayed for another six months tried to get him off the stuff, I just watched him get worse and worse, he was drinking and doing more drugs and I was drinking a lot because I felt so weak and pathetic just like I did with my dad”

“The horrible thing was is I was considering joining him in his spiral, he seemed happy enough when he was on the pills, I wanted my pain to stop and of course you know me I researched opioids and they’re pain killers and all’s I was feeling was pain and I wanted it to stop, it was Maddie that dragged me out of it, not that she knows, of course, she phoned me one day it was almost three years after my father got sent to jail to tell me he was getting early release the thought of him being released terrified me the thought of staying and watching TK kill himself terrified me so I took the cowards way out I broke up with TK, and I went to find his father told him everything and left, went as far as I could which ended up being South America bartending”

“I felt useless whilst I was down there like nobody needed I wasn’t good for nothing couldn’t even get my boyfriend to let me help him so I decided I’d become someone that didn’t need to rely on anybody else I was going to become strong not for anyone else but for me so I could stop feeling so weak and useless, I thought being a marine would do that for me, of course, we both know how that turned out, the physical part was easy spent the best part of two years bartending in South America and when I wasn’t working I was working out and getting in shape, but I could never switch my emotions off, which isn’t what you want a soldier to be able to do, it was pure luck stumbling into the fire academy but I’m glad I did I’ve for a job that I can be proud of, a job where I can save people and I’ve found my purpose” he sits up Eddie’s hand falling out of his hair and he scrubs his hand through the wet of his eyes and sniffs up a little.

“Sorry,” He says looking to Eddie.

“Never apologise for how strong you’ve been,” Eddie tells him leaning forward to cup his face and pull him in for a quick peck on the lips using his thumbs to wipe away the tears.

“I’ve not thought about Tyler Strand for years, but seeing him again…”

“You still have feelings for him” Eddie nods the sentence isn’t even posed as a question it’s like he’s accepted it already.

“Of course not,” Buck says his head snapping up to stare in his boyfriend's eyes “I felt guilty for dumping it all on his dad, I felt guilty for being a coward and running away like I always seem to do” 

“It wasn’t cowardice that made you run it was self-preservation, if you stayed you could have been addicted to pain killers as well and you both might not have been alive to have an awkward meeting years later” Eddie reassures him grabbing his hand and squeezing.

“I’m not in love with him so don’t go getting that into your head, just hearing his voice seeing him again reminded me of the bad place I was in back when I was with him if anything I freaked out seeing him again because it reminded me how much I’ve changed and how much I would have lost if I’d have gone down that dark path with him”

“But you never and you’re here you’ve got an amazing job, a family that loves you, you’ve got a kid” Eddie whispers and those words never fail to bring a smile to his face “TK looks like he’s doing good too, firefighter he looks like he’s clean and sober” 

“TK always looked like he was in control he was a good actor” 

“Maybe you should talk to him then?” Eddie suggests.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” Buck frowns.

“Might be what you both need for closure?”

“Do I really need closure though? I’ve not thought about him or that situation for years and as soon as I leave, I won’t be thinking about him again” Buck shrugs.

“But like it or not Carlos is close to me and he seems smitten with TK so if they last you might see him at family functions whenever we come out here there’s always some major family milestone we get together for at least once a year, you know my family and now we are together everyone wants to see you more than they want to see me” Eddie smiles stroking his thumb over Buck’s knuckles soothingly.

“I’ll think about it, can we just go to sleep now? I’m knackered we literally went from the flight to the car rental place dropped the bags off here and went straight to your mother’s birthday party, I just want to sleep for a solid eight hours without an alarm interrupting” 

“Sorry, Bobby made us work extra shifts so we could get the time off to come down here,” Eddie says, and he really does look apologetic.

“As much as I want to take a sledgehammer to that alarm, I wanted to come on this little holiday as much as you wanted to be around your family, besides this is where you are from it had to be here,” Buck says his eyes widening at the information he nearly let slip.

“What had to be here?” Eddie questions confused.

“Getting to know where you came from, we couldn’t have done that in Disney Land could we?” Buck covers.

“It’s not really exciting babe, it’s hot and sweaty very dull, might be a bit better with you here though” Eddie shrugs leaning in for a kiss.

Buck pulls back before Eddie’s lips can connect “Only a little bit?” he teases.

“I don’t know I’ll let you know when we go back home” Eddie smirks closing the small gap and pulling his boyfriend in for a kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to be sleeping for work, but a conversation between Buck and Eddie's parents wouldn't stop playing in my head so that's why I had to grab my laptop and found myself writing 1700 words when I literally posted a chapter before

“I know you guys don’t like me” Buck says his ears listening for the sounds of Eddie and Christopher’s screams in the back yard, Eddie is up in the treehouse him and his father built years ago having the time of his life with his son as Tia Peppa and Abuela drink iced tea outside.

Tia Peppa and Abuela both nursing hangovers from the party the day before, it was rather funny seeing two people who are so put together ninety nine percent of the time snipe at each other for being too loud.

“What? That’s nonsense of course we like you” Mrs Diaz is quick to say, and Buck notices the way Ramone didn’t say anything.

“I should have said you’re not thrilled at the idea of Eddie being with me compared to a woman” Buck says.

“Who Edmundo chooses to be with is his choice, Man or Woman, all’s I care about is that he’s happy” Helena says looking to her husband her tone somewhat hostile.

“His and Christopher’s happiness is the only thing that matters to me” Buck nods.

“Where’s this coming from Evan?” Ramone says.

“I promised myself that when I had a family I’d do everything right and this is the start of me doing the right thing, it’s something I promised to do no matter who I was with man or woman, it’s something I need to do, but know even if you don’t like the idea, I will still go through with it because I love him more than anything” Buck explains rambling.

“You’re not making sense, Evan” Helena says reaching across the table placing a comforting hand on Buck’s hand careful of the glass of homemade lemonade in front of him.

He pulls his hand away and he’s sure he sees a flicker of hurt cross Mrs Diaz’s face before he pulls out the box from his pocket and flips it open, Mrs Diaz mouth drops open and a smile comes on her face instantly, Mr Diaz stares at the ring his eyes unmoving.

“I know it’s archaic and Edmundo isn’t a girl by any means and It’s not the done thing anymore asking parent’s permission for the hand in marriage but I wanted your permission to ask him, he may say no but I just wanted to know you guys are okay with me asking, if you think I should wait a bit I will respect your decision and give it some time but I’m set on asking him to become my husband and I will eventually ask him”

“It doesn’t matter” Ramone says, and Buck’s heart skips a beat as he looks at Eddies father.

“What are you talking about?” Helena questions her husband her tone radiating a warning.

“It doesn’t matter if he asks now or waits the answer will be the same” Ramone tells her.

“Ramone” She warns.

“Hush will you” Ramone waves her off and Buck’s eyebrows shoot up at the murderous look she shoots her husband’s way. “He’ll say yes whether he asks right this second or in five years, you make my son and grandson very happy and as a father that’s all’s I can ask of someone that wants to marry into this family, I know my own prejudices and feelings have been negative since I found out but it was the way I was raised, but I am trying, it’s hard but I love my son and I will not be the reason he’s not happy, you have my blessing, for what it’s worth I appreciate the sentiment in asking for permission first, I hope when my daughters marry their future husbands… or spouses of they decide to be that way inclined will ask permission as well” Ramone says and Buck’s surprised facial expression is matched by Helena’s.

“Do you want kids?” Helena asks recovering from her shock physically shaking her head and looking to Buck.

“We’ve discussed adoption and surrogacy for the future yeah” Buck nods.

“You’ve got my permission too, but I want another grandchild out of you both before I die” She demands, and Buck starts laughing but nods along with her.

“I wouldn’t laugh if I was you boy, she’ll whip out a pen and paper and make you sign a legally binding contract in blood” Ramone warns.

“We want kids maybe even more than one, so you don’t have to worry there” Buck laughs.

“Welcome to the family” Helena shouts too loud Buck and Ramone both shush her much to Buck’s surprise.

“Don’t give the game away for him, I’m sure he’s got a better proposal planned than you shouting it so loud Edmundo can hear you and the neighbours” 

“I don’t know what that plan is yet, but I know it’s going to be before we leave El Paso” Buck promises.

“Let me help” Helena says actually jumping up and down in her seat, Ramone rolls his eyes getting up from his seat and moving the three feet to the refrigerator returning in a second with two beers passing one over to Buck much to his surprise.

“It’s not too late to runaway you know” He says attempting at a joke that has Buck smiling.

“Edmundo’s worth putting up with a great mother in law to be” Buck says hesitating to describe Helena without offending.

“Nice save” Ramone offers holding his beer out to toast Buck “Welcome to the family” 

“Thanks, he has to say yes first” Buck laughs putting the ring back away.

“Oh, he will dear don’t you worry about that” Helena says.

//////////////

“Carlos just texted……” Eddie says walking in through the backdoor as Buck’s wiping the tears from his eyes, Ramone hiding his smile in his beer bottle and Helena is hiccupping with laughter as well “What’s going on?” He asks taking in the eight beer bottles on the table three for both Ramone and Buck, Helena catching up on two.

“Nothing just telling me all the gory details of your childhood, blackmail material for life” Buck snorts.

“Buck you did not get my parent’s drunk just to get embarrassing stories out of them” Eddie moans.

“Of course, not Mi Perrito, they asked me to drink with them” Buck teases.

“I told her to stop calling me Mi Perrito when I was six she kept saying it and eventually the people in high school heard and it became my nickname mom you didn’t have to tell him that” Eddie whines.

“She didn’t I did” Ramone laughs wiping a tear from his eye.

“Oh cheer up Mi Amor, she could have told me about the time you got your penis stuck in your zip and they had to give you a circumcision at the age of thirteen” Buck says trying to keep a straight face it works until Eddie glares at them all and points his finger which has them all snorting with laughter.

“I’m going back home tomorrow” Eddie says and turns on his heel and storms back into the backyard.

Buck follows him laughing.

“You mentioned something about Carlos?” Buck questions as he reaches Eddie grabbing his hand to spin him around, he’s got an odd look on his face “What?” 

“What the hell was going on in there?” 

“I was having a few beers with your mother and father? They were telling me a few embarrassing stories most of them were cute though why?” 

“My dad hasn’t really been comfortable around us enough to laugh and joke like that what the hell did you slip in his beer? Ecstasy?” 

“I sort of confronted him about not liking me” Buck admits rubbing the back of his neck

“How did that go?” Eddie asks looking genuinely curious.

“He said he’s trying his best to deal with it but he can tell we make each other happy and that’s all’s he wants for any of his kids then he popped open a couple of cold ones with me and your mother and the conversation didn’t feel forced it felt like he actually wanted to talk about you to me and they tried to get to know me too” 

“You never fail to amaze me Evan Buckley” Eddie laughs pulling him in for a kiss.

“Are you two going to meet Carlos or are you hoping you’ll gain the power to teleport through kissing? Don’t forget to stop off at Ms Carmicos bakery on the way back I want a dozen bagels I’ve missed her bagels, I’ll have to make you a special bagel Evan dear you’ve never tried them before have you” Abuela says before turning back to conversation with Peppa something about the last time she was in El Paso she ate nineteen bagels to herself in the seven days she was here.

“We’re going to meet Carlos?” Buck questions.

“TK ran away to their hotel last night and when Carlos got an uber back he explained everything to Carlos and TK just wants to talk to you? If you want that is, Carlos and I will be at the bar you guys can take as much or as little time as you need?” Eddie asks him a hopeful look on his face.

“Fine but only because I know how much you love Carlos and I don’t want to make it awkward on the both of you, I can stay civil it’s not like he did anything to me specifically for me to be mad at” Buck shrugs.

“Just because his addiction didn’t harm you physically didn’t mean it didn’t harm you mentally, you loved the man and it hurt you to see him like that” Eddie tells him grabbing Buck’s hand and kissing his knuckles.

“Are you trying to talk me into speaking to him or out of it?” Buck questions with a frown.

“I do think it will be good for you” Eddie admits.

“You need to drive I’ll be over the limit” Buck says as he exhales a breath.

“Let’s say bye to Chris” Eddie beams grabbing Buck’s hand and pulling him over to where Chris is playing on an old swing set.

Buck’s heart aches a little in his chest thinking about his past is opening up old wounds and it’s not just being unable to save TK Strand from addiction it’s his own family as well.

His chest hasn’t felt this raw and vulnerable in a long while.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Addiction/Mild mentions of Bucks abusive father

Buck sighs as he watches out the window, watches as the shops go zooming by, they go past a small bakery that looks to be the busiest shop on the block a sign above the door saying ‘Ms Carmicos Bakery’ with cartoon bread loafs and bagel’s scattered around the sign. Buck means to point it out to Eddie and remind him of his Abuela’s words but can’t seem to find the energy to move his face off the window.

Within five minutes they pulled into a small parking lot of a little gastropub the kind that serves food and alcohol, he sighs and longs for a bottle of beer.

“If I’m doing this you’re paying for the beer” Buck sighs his head still on the window looking out he spots a sleek blue sports car that was honestly so sexy it almost makes him want to grab his phone and take a picture of it, he’s used to sleek sports cars living in LA but this thing stands out in a sea of pick-up trucks, hell even his and Eddie’s SUV rental blended in with the cars in the parking lot.

He lets out a snort and Eddie shifts in his seat and ask him “What is it?” 

“I just realised why you have an obsession with pickup trucks” Buck finally smiles his head leaving the window to look at his boyfriend.

“I don’t have an obsession with pickup trucks, I like them because they’re reliable and they’re a safer mode of transportation compared to smaller cars” Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Actually, that’s not true trucks aren't always the safest option, According to the IIHS, there's only a 20 per cent difference in the fatality rates of cars and trucks. Cars still do come in at a higher 60 per cent, but trucks aren't that far behind, taking in 40 per cent of fatalities. However, research by the University of Buffalo, says that an additional 1,000 pounds of weight on a vehicle reduces the risk of injury in a crash by 19 per cent in some instances like head-on collisions, there are other factors that can make them dangerous in other types of accidents, because they’re so high off the ground side on impact can make them roll and the can be harder to handle in tough conditions.” Buck spouts off looking at the glove compartment.

“You know all that and about research by the University of Buffalo on trucks because?” Eddie asks his tone full of amusement as he smirks at Buck.

“Maddie sent me dozens of articles when I bought my jeep and then made me promise to read them, I said I would but I never and she found out because she finds out everything so she created a quiz for me to answer once I’d read the articles to prove I was taking vehicle ownership seriously and doing my due diligence” Buck snorts “It just sort of stayed in my mind, every time I see a truck rolled over when were on call my mind instantly goes to those articles it’s strange I know”

“How old where you when she quizzed you?” Eddie laughs thinking of how cute it would have been to see Maddie quiz her little brother before he bought his first car.

“Twenty-five” Buck says, and the smile comes to his face wants Eddie starts full on giggling his smile turns to a glare warning Eddie not to say nothing his boyfriend just holds his hands up as if to say he’s not going to say anything.

“Can we get this over with? I’d like to hurry up and get back to Christopher and then go back to the hotel for an early night we’ve got tickets for that Wyler Aerial Tramway thing you wanted to do for sunrise, why you’re getting me up that early on our vacation I have no clue but we’ve got the tickets so we’re going” Buck says going to get out the car.

“You know Carlos is coming tomorrow right? So are my parents and probably…”

“TK?” Buck nods guessing “I had a feeling, I can handle it Eddie, I hid my feelings for you for over a year I think I can hide how uncomfortable I am tomorrow” Buck sighs getting out the car.

“You shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable though” Eddie says rushing out the car to follow Buck “It’s your holiday too”

“This trip is about you Eddie, you’ve not seen your family in a while and I won’t stand in the way of that” Buck tells him pushing open the door to the bar his eyes spot TK straight away and he thinks even after all these years he’s still so aware of his presence.

Carlos sees them his beaming smile comes out in force and he says something to TK who nods not looking up, Carlos stands his hand goes to TK’s shoulder and then he walks towards Eddie and Buck.

He veers off before he gets to them and makes his way over to the bar nodding his head to Eddie who nods.

“I’ll bring you a drink over? Unless you’d rather me be with you as you talk?” Eddie offers.

“No I’d rather get this done on my own” Buck says finding the power to move his legs towards where TK is sat fiddling with his glass on the table his eyes firmly locked on the movement on the glass and not on Buck as he makes his way over.

Buck sits heavily heaving a sigh.

“Jesus Christ!” TK hisses “When did you get so massive? Last time I saw you, you looked like a twig” TK laughs it’s forced.

“You really wanna talk about my training regime and how I bulked up to join the marines?” Buck questions.

“You joined the marines?” TK frowns before shaking his head as if to force himself to focus “Right, no, of course that’s not important, I wanted to thank you” TK says and Buck finds himself stuck for words his mind had been coming up with many scenarios of what TK could say and ‘Thank you’ wasn’t one of them.

“Evan?” TK asks after a minute of total silence.

“Thank you?” Buck questions “Why the hell would you thank me?” Buck says but finds himself continuing now the floodgates have opened wanting to get it out as fast as he could “I didn’t help you, I tried but I couldn’t, I didn’t notice you were using until months into the relationship I should have saw it, I almost let myself get addicted as well when I was trying to help you I was so weak” 

“I never knew that” TK says with a shocked look.

“It hurt me so much you not letting me help and I just wanted the pain to end and you seemed like you were never in pain I guess that’s the good thing about pain killers huh? That’s why I ran I knew if I couldn’t help you, I’d end up joining up, so I ran” 

“But not before telling my father” TK tells him.

“I’m sorry but I couldn’t leave you to deal with it alone” 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, it’s me that should be sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten with you in the first place and pulled you into my shit when I knew the stuff you were dealing with, but you know us addicts were selfish just want what we want and god did I want you” TK says with a smile on his face “Telling my father was the best thing you ever could have done for me he forced me into rehab and I went on to become a firefighter, you saved my life” 

“I was too weak to do anything I just wanted the burden off me in case you overdosed and I read in the paper or I saw online that you’d overdosed, I wanted that burden to be on your father but it never left me I always felt guilty for not being able to do more, I was supposed to do more I loved you but I was too weak to stay and not fall into that world as well” Buck admits.

“Weak? You were anything but you stayed and you tried and trust me it’s more than most people have done for me in my life, you couldn’t have saved me because I was too selfish and honestly I loved the drugs and the way they made me feel more than you, in my mind you were disposable but the way the drugs made me feel that was a constant and that was something I needed to stick around, so you telling the one person in my life that was a constant to me, someone I needed to stick around in my life is what pushed me to fight so you might not have been able to do it yourself but it’s because of you that I’m where I am today”

“Doesn’t feel like I did anything but run” 

“Well you did so stop feeling like that” TK tells him his eyes wet with unshed tears as he reaches over and pats Buck’s hands that were folded together on the table.

“As for you almost getting addicted I’m so sorry, if I wasn’t so damn high all the time I would have noticed how appealing the thought of numbing the pain would have been for you after your father did that and your grandmother had literally died a few months before, you were new to town and vulnerable and I brought that shit around you” 

“You had an addiction and I suppose I should apologise to you too, I blamed you for being weak for so long for not letting me help you when in reality, you’re strong, you let your father help you and look at you now your clean… you are still clean from the drugs right?” Buck questions.

“Yep and alcohol” TK snorts raising a glass of water in front of him and taking a sip.

“Didn’t realise you had a problem with alcohol as well” Buck says thinking back and realising they never really used to drink, they were under twenty-one so it’s not like they could get into bars.

“I didn’t until I got clean, then I substituted drugs for drink and then being drunk led to relapses, so I just gave them both up” 

“Here you go” Eddie says sidling up to the table making but jump a little in his seat as he sets a bottle of beer in front of Buck kissing his cheek as he goes.

Buck looks at the beer bottle and then looks at TK feeling awkward drinking it in front of him and goes to hand it back to Eddie “I deal with my team drinking in front of me every time we go out, I can handle it don’t worry” TK laughs before addressing Eddie “You and Carlos can come sit down now if you want, that is if it’s okay with you? Or do you think more needs to be talked about?” TK asks looking to Buck.

“No that would be nice” Buck nods, he feels lighter some of the stuff from the past finally lifting he doesn’t think he’s ready to be friends with TK that part of his life is something he’d like to forget fully, but whilst he’s here in Texas Buck is damn well going to try and make sure he’s at least friendly for Eddie’s sake he doesn’t want to alienate Carlos, he’s family and TK looks important to Carlos.

/////////

Buck was getting more comfortable as the night went on, of course that could have been the seven beers he’d drunk to Eddie’s two or it could be the fact that Eddie and Carlos were dominating the conversation telling TK and Buck stories of the past.

Buck’s interrupted by his phone vibrating in his pocket and a smile comes to his face when he sees the message off Christopher.

Christopher 17:06

Bucky, Abuela says if you and daddy have forgotten her bagels, she’s not letting you guys have any of the food she’s been making, when are you coming home, I’m bored.

“What’s up?” Eddie questions.

“Chris says he’s bored, and we forgot to get Abuela’s bagels and now she’s threatening to withhold her food apparently” His phone vibrates three times in quick succession and Buck laughs at Christopher sending him Bored gifs.

He shows Eddie and Eddie rolls his eyes “I told you, you should not have gotten him a phone” Eddie snorts.

“I told you the family plan was better financially for us all?” Buck counters.

“Oh, please you got him it because he asked your such a push over for our son it’s ridiculous” Eddie laughs leaning into Buck’s side.

Buck blushes he can’t even deny it he sees TK smiling at them across the table and he can’t help but look away.

“We better get going ‘Ms Carmicos Bakery’ closes at six and Abuela really will stop us from eating” Eddie says sadly.

“Well maybe you, she loves me” Buck smirks when Eddie mumbles a small ‘no she doesn’t’ under his breath.

“We will see you guys tomorrow morning?” Carlos asks and TK gives them a small hopeful smile.

“Yeah sure” Buck nods.

“As long as this one doesn’t have a hangover” Eddie snorts.

“I haven’t drunk that much” Buck says and even the slur is audible to his own ears.

They make their way into the parking lot Eddie’s hand steadying him on his hip as they go.

“I’m so proud of you” Eddie tells him leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.

“I didn’t do anything” Buck waves off.

“Are you kidding? You just confronted your past and I know how much you hate talking about your past babe, not only that you talked to TK even though the thought makes you uncomfortable because of your past with him, and you even stayed for a few hours and made small talk, I know how much you hate small talk” Eddie says with a small chuckle.

“It’s hard knowing him again, looking at him hurts it just reminds me of being back in New York and being so weak” Buck admits.

They get to the car and Eddie turns him around bracketing him in against the passenger side.

“You’ll never be weak, you are Firefighter Evan Buckley, you’ve saved countless lives and you’ve even brought a few into this world as well, you survived what your father did to you and look where we are now in spite of that, many people would have closed this part of themselves off but you fight every day to show me and Christopher how much you love us, you stood up to my dad for us for Christ sakes, you’re the strongest man I know and I cannot wait till the day you say I do” Eddie tells him and Bucks eyes widen.

“What?” Buck questions.

“Oh, don’t look too shocked, it’ll happen eventually” Eddie tries for unfazed, but his tone is nervous his voice cracking slightly.

“We talked about kids we’ve never talked about marriage before” Buck tells him.

“I know I just assumed come on we need to get to ‘Ms Carmicos Bakery’ before it closes” Eddie says moving to the other side of the car and Buck closes his eyes saying fuck it.

“Does that mean if I ask now, you’ll say yes?” Buck asks his eyes closes but his voice raised slightly.

“I’ll always say yes to you Buck no matter the question” Eddie says his voice strangled and Buck opens his eyes to see Eddie look at him over the hood of the SUV.

Buck reaches into his pocket and mentally curses when he realises, he left the rings with Helena in his jacket before he left.

“Good to know” Buck says giving him a beaming smile that makes Eddie’s smile match his.

“Let’s get to this bakery” Eddie laughs jumping in the car Buck jumping in afterwards his mind coming up with a plan to propose tonight, he doesn’t want to wait any longer, after what Eddie’s done for him tonight he is well and truly gone for anyone else ever and he can’t imagine loving anyone else as much as he loves Edmundo.

Buck waits in the car whilst Eddie runs into the bakery before it closes running the errand for Abuela and he comes out with a smile on his face a lipstick mark on his cheek and a cup of coffee for Buck.

“Please tell me Ms Carmicos is a little eighty-year-old woman?” Buck questions taking the coffee as Eddie puts the bagels in the back, he leans over and rubs at the lipstick mark on his cheek.

“She’s sixty” Eddie laughs.

“Good I don’t have to worry about my boyfriend coming back with lipstick on his cheek then buck laughs.

“I don’t know the way that woman bakes I think I’d look past the age thing” 

“Looks like someone’s sleeping in the treehouse tonight” Buck jokes but even as he says it, he could shout Eureka as a plan of action so obvious formulates in his mind.

He knows how to propose to Eddie. 

The treehouse the one thing Eddie has the fondest memories of in his hometown, the place he and his father spent days building and the place he made so many memories with his friends.

Buck knows that’s the place he needs to do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I handled that conversation with Buck and TK, I feel like Buck is still hurting but at the same time he's the nice guy and he doesn't want to be the reason Carlos and Eddie fall out so he's trying to force himself to bury the past and bury the hatchet with TK, What did you guys think?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let us all pretend that Austin and Eddie's home time have magically become Super close because I wanted to have a small interaction with the 126, please for my sanity.

“Hey Bud,” Buck asks his voice small and low.

“Yeah?” Chris asks leaning back on the swing so much to look at Buck that he’s hanging on by his fingertips and Buck has a minor heart attack stopping the swing, so he doesn’t fall off it.

The night sky twinkles overhead and Buck sighs he could actually get used to living here, looking up at the night sky and seeing some actual stars where in LA it’s just a smog-filled mess.

“I wanted to ask your permission to do something,” Buck says after a minute of Chris staring at him he feels sober the drinks from the bar long out of his system but he’s got another bottle of beer in his hand instead of having an early night like they’d planned for their little outing tomorrow, Abuela and Eddie’s mother had joined forces and had cooked a feast which had Buck salivating when they’d gotten out the car, a few cousins had turned up sometime after they left and before long the drinks were flowing they’re probably gonna be sleeping in the spare room tonight, Eddie wasn’t going to be able to drive and neither was Buck.  
He sits down on the other swing his ass and hips almost too wide to sit on the small child-like swing, but he forces himself on it.

“Is it what I think it is?” Christopher says after Buck doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t know what you think it is little man?” Buck questions.

“Well you sat me down like this when you asked permission to date daddy, then you asked permission to move in too, it’s either babies or getting married and Lola in my class told me only a man and a woman can have babies normally so I don’t think it’s that one,” Chris says giggling and Buck reminds himself that he needs to tell Eddie it’s time to have the birds and the bees talk with Christopher he doesn’t want him learning any more shit from Lola or anyone else at school.

“What would you think about that?” Buck says nervously his fingers picking the label off the beer bottle.

“Obviously it’s a yes you’re my dad too, this just means I’m closer to having a brother or a sister” Chris beams launching himself off the swing and moving with shaky steps to Buck, he reaches for Buck and Buck pulls him into a hug that has the little man groaning and moaning for air.

“Sorry, I just love you so much,” Buck tells him.

“I love you too” Christopher giggles.

“Do you wanna help me do it?” Buck asks pulling the ring out and showing Chris who looks from the ring to Buck and nods frantically.

“I was thinking because that treehouse has so many happy memories I’d finally climb in and hide and that’s where you come in, now you’d have the most important job, you’d have to tell your dad that I wanted to see him in the treehouse for a minute and make sure he comes out here then when he comes up into the treehouse I’ll be on one knee and I’ll ask him when he gets in, what do you think?” Buck asks hopefully.

“It’s so stupid,” Christopher tells him and Buck’s heart sinks. “He’s going to love it” Chris adds on his smile brighter than all the stars above them.

“Yeah? You think?” 

“Of course, he will, he loves everything you do for him” Chris smiles.

“Right then let’s do it!” Buck says standing and handing Chris his crutches who starts walking towards the house Buck downs his beer leaving it on the ground and rushes over to the treehouse taking the rope ladder and climbing up as fast as he can.

He reaches the top and throws the hatch open as the rope gives way and he falls the twenty feet back to the ground.

He lands on his back and the air rushes out of him as his head and body hit the ground hard his vision blurs at the edges and the last thing he remembers before he passes out was gasping for breath and the pain radiating through his body as Christopher’s screams for Eddie haunt his last waking moment.

…………………………….

“Dad” Christopher hisses his eyes streaming with tears as he stumbles onto the floor.

“Chris” Eddie panics jumping up and picking up his son checking him over for injuries the loudness of the living room and all the people in it instantly hushes the only sound in the living room the small stereo in the corner and Christopher’s sobs “Chris you okay? Where’ve you hurt?” 

“Not me Bucky” Chris sobs and his father is instantly out his chair and running to the backyard as his mother reaches for Christopher pulling him up onto her hip so Eddie can run out and join his dad.

He sees his boyfriend sprawled out on the ground his dad just reaching him and yanking the rope ladder from the treehouse off Buck taking time to untangle it from his legs and not just yanking viciously.

Eddie mentally curses as he rushes to his boyfriend's side his head flying into first responder mode as he checks Buck over.

His fingers move deftly over Evan’s body as he looks up to his father to call 911 only to find him already muttering into the speaker of his phone.

The rise and fall of Buck’s chest make breaths come a little easier as he knows he’s not dead.

His fingers pull away from the back of Buck’s head and come away wet “pass the phone” Eddie tells his father who hands it over without hesitation.

“This is LAFD firefight Eddie Diaz, my Partner LAFD Firefighter Evan Buckley seems to have fallen from a distance of approximately twenty feet, he’s got a minor scalp laceration to the back of his skull, he seems to have broken his arm from the angle it’s pointing but it’s not a compound fracture so that should be good,” Eddie tells them lifting Buck’s eyes and flips his dad’s phone on speaker to shine the torch in Buck’s eyes “Pupils are responsive, his airway, breathing and circulation seem to be normal his heart rate is accelerated”

“Ladder truck 126 are two minutes out Firefighter Diaz, an ambulance is a further six,” the woman tells him and Eddie sighs in relief the woman starts telling him she’s relayed his diagnosis to the paramedic team and her Texan drawl immediately calms him.

“The one thing, I didn’t think would get him injured was how big his fucking muscles are” he finds himself saying and his dad snorts and it’s such an inappropriate time but Eddie snorts too as the tears slip down his face and he focuses on making sure his boyfriends heart is still beating his fingers clenched on his pulse point.

He looks behind him as his cousins show the firefighters through the back gate and when Eddie sees the box on the ground and picks it up when the firefighter moves him out the way.

He flicks it open and his own heart nearly stops beating.

If Evan Buckley dies because he wanted to propose in a stupid romantic way, he will find a way to bring him back just too fucking kill him again.

“Evan?” One of the firefighters say and Eddie’s eyes snap up to an older man his hat says Captain and the back of his protective gear read 'Strand'.

If Buck was awake right now, he’d be freaking the fuck out.

Eddie would be right there with him.

“Marjan, Paul” Assess his injuries ready for Michelle and her team “Judd, get me a backboard and Mateo wait out front and direct Michelle to where we are, she should be here any minute” 

“Yes sir” the team nods and Eddie finds himself nodding along.

Eddie rushes the captain and starts spouting off the medical facts again and the older man puts a comforting hand on Eddie shouter telling him to breath “Don’t worry I won’t let anything happen to Evan okay” he tells him with a smile.

“TK’s dad, right?” Eddie asks his eyes moving from the captain's shocked face to stare at the members of his team that are helping buck his rising chest some comfort to him.

“How’d you know TK?” Owen asks shocked.

“Literally just met him but he’s dating my cousin Carlos, him and Buck had a chat before”

“Yikes, that probably wasn’t pretty,” the captain says his face contorting to worry probably for his son’s well-being.

“It wasn’t bad, to be honest it was civil” Eddie nods the conversation cuts off as the paramedics get into the backyard and things finally start moving.

………………………..

Buck groans as he wakes up the beeping next to him familiar and he sighs rolling his eyes hurts but the look on Eddie’s face as he sits next to his bed.

“Diagnosis?” Buck asks through a groan.

“Minor concussion, rope burns on your legs scratches and cuts on your arms,” Eddie says.

“Broken arm?” Buck guesses lifting the cast up.

“Thought that would be obvious” Eddie sighs.

“Why’re you mad I’m the one that fell” Buck moans.

“You couldn’t have proposed somewhere on the ground? I’m debating if I should keep you in a bubble or not from now on” Eddie warns him and Bucks's eyes widen.

“Chris told you?” Buck guessed.

“No, I found the ring” Eddie sighs standing up leaning over the bed to kiss him on the lips Buck sinks into the kiss his eyes closing.

“Shall we talk about it?” Buck asks when Eddie pulls away and makes his way to the door.

“Later I’m going to go tell them your awake and text everyone, Bobby is pissed you’ve been injured again although I seemed to be the one that got the blame for it though when I phoned him before” Eddie sighs making his way to the door his phone out of his pocket as he goes.

“You had to tell him?” Buck moans his eyes raising to the ceiling.

“Oh by the way,” Eddie says stopping at the doorway and turning around to face buck “Yes,” Eddie tells him bringing his left hand up and showing him the ring on his finger, “Thought I’d just take popping the question out of your hands before you break something else,” Eddie tells him finally grinning.

“I hate you,” Buck tells him it’s said through the biggest smile ever so Eddie knows he’s lying but the older man just waves him off with a laugh.

“Pretty sure this little baby right here means you want to love me and hold me, honour and protect me for as long as we both shall live” Eddie teases finally leaving the room to get the doctor and firing off a quick text to the 118 group chat and his mother and father.

Poor Christopher is still awake at home and more than likely won’t pass out from exhaustion till he sees Buck.

Eddie concentrates on making sure that head wound isn’t serious for now trusting his mother and father to look after the other half of his heart whilst he looks after this half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it wouldn't be a normal Buddie proposal if someone wasn't injured would it


	6. Chapter 6

-“How could you be so stupid and reckless?” Bobby tells him it would probably be better if he was shouting but the quite whisper-like tone he has in his voice makes Buck feel much worse.

“It’s not like I meant for the rope to snap I was trying to be romantic and propose” Buck whines.

“Which, you still didn’t do,” Athena tells him snatching the phone out Bobby’s hand the camera moving to her.

“She’s right he basically accepted a proposal when you were unconscious” Bobby adds in and Athena settles the camera so they’re both in the facetime.

“Being romantic is hard” Buck whines and it sounds pathetic to his own ears.

“Of course it is, it gets harder when your married and when you have kids you’ve got to make sure you find the time, you should take him for a romantic meal, your concussion is a Grade 1 so as long as you stay away from anything strenuous you should be fine to enjoy the rest of your holiday” Bobby tells him.

“God, I wish, Eddie got permission off the doctor for me to fly home he’s cutting the trip short wants us home so he can baby me” Buck rolls his eyes.

“That man loves you and he just wants to be somewhere familiar that’s not a hotel room to look after you” Athena adds in.

“Has he messaged you?” Buck narrows his eyes.

“We’ve received ninety text messages between the both of us, most are various forms of how can he turn a proposal into a life and death situation the others have been relief that you were going to be fine and a request for a couple more paid vacation weeks off for both of you, obviously I’ve granted you both them but until that arm is healed Buck and you’ve got that cast off you’ll be on light duty in the station when your vacations days are used up and until I get written confirmation from the doctor that your back at working strength you will remain on light duty and not complain about it” Bobby warns making Buck grumble ending with a small ‘Fine’ when Bobby glares at him.

“When are you guys getting home?” Athena questions.

“Monday” Eddie shouts when he walks into the room, he’s gathering their things from the hotel and throwing them into the suitcases.

“We’re going to check out of the hotel tonight take our cases over to his parents where Christopher is apparently climbing the walls wanting to see me,” Buck tells him with a massive smile on his face “I’m so tired he made us come straight the hotel after I got released from the hospital we’re staying in his parent’s tonight so he can spend some time with them before we head to the airport tomorrow”

“Most of the family are at the house already for an Engagement slash bon voyage slash glad you didn’t die Buck party,” Eddie says throwing himself down on the bed making Buck grit his teeth in pain as the movement jostled his arm.

“Crap sorry” Eddie murmurs kissing Buck’s shoulder.

“No drinking” Bobby warns Buck.

“Doctor already told me that” Buck answers back rolling his eyes.

“Let us know when you get back home, I’ll bring you a casserole or something so you guys don’t have to cook when you get home and we’ll bring any groceries you might need just send me a message with what to get” Athena smiles.

“That would be a lifesaver thanks Athena” Eddie smiles before they all say their goodbyes and hang-up.

“Thank god that’s over I think five facetime telling off’s is enough for one day,” he tells his fiancé as he throws his phone on the bed.

“Maddie, Chim, Hen and Carla should have been more considerate and just all met up and face timed you together like Bobby and Athena did that way you’d only have to endure two calls from the people that love you” Eddie rolls his eyes before enveloping Buck in a gentle hug.

“I can hear the sarcasm in your voice and as your future husband, I resent that and think I might need to work less sarcasm into our vows” Buck warns.

“I will love, honour and protect you for as long as we both shall live but I will never stop criticising you when you do stupid things and that’s until death do us part, I will however as your significant other make it my job to help make sure you stop doing stupid things, so if I overly criticise you it’s really because I’m failing my job” Eddie rants and Buck has to lean forward and kiss him to shut the guy up.

Eddie pulls away shaking his head “Nope doctor said no sex for a week” 

“He said no strenuous activity, but if I just lay back and let you do all the work, I won’t be straining anything” Buck wiggles his eyebrows.

“How’s that different than any other time we have sex?” Eddie questions snorting with laughter as Buck hits him in the chest.

“Are you calling me vanilla?” 

“I was calling you lazy” Eddie tells him pecking his lips again and standing up.

“Let’s go I managed to get most of the money back for the hotel and I can claim the flights back on the insurance you made us take out which is lucky let's go let my family fuss all over you and make me feel like a girl checking out this bad boy” Eddie laughs shaking his ring finger.

“I regret not getting you a diamond now” Buck pouts.

“If you got me a diamond, I think my dad would actually disown me,” Eddie says with a tight smile.

“He loves you, Eddie, he’s getting there it’s a lot for him to take” Buck defends.

“Are you ever going to tell me what you and my parents talked about?” Eddie questions.

“Probably someday but not anytime soon” Buck promises as he gets off the bed and grabs his suitcase.

Eddie bats his hand away and makes him grabs Christopher’s small case that weighs next to nothing.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just nap instead of letting your family fuss all over you? We were at that hospital for fourteen hours whilst they made sure the concussion wasn’t anything serious, you didn’t sleep at all” Buck offers sitting back on the comfortable hotel room bed.

“I stopped my mother and father from coming and seeing you and made them stay with Christopher if I don’t get you over to see them soon my mother will kill me, and Christopher might actually hate me for not letting him see his Buck” Eddie admits.

“You just didn’t want him to see me like that and get upset” Buck rolls his eyes “Besides Christopher could never hate you”

“You underestimate the pull you have on the Diaz boys, Evan, if my son disowned me for anyone it would be for you, so you know don’t divorce me and take him with you” Eddie pleads leaning forward to kiss Buck.

“Being without you has never and will never be an option for me, Diaz, you're stuck with me forever” Buck smirks.

“Good” Eddie grins capturing his mouth again this time it’s more heated and Buck’s left breathless when Eddie pulls back shaking his head a smirk fully in place “Nope, doctors’ orders”

“Let’s get this party over with I really need to see Christopher and then nap” Buck sighs, standing with a pout, Eddie just follows him out the room with a laugh.

……………………..

The sun was just setting, and the Diaz household was full of people that Buck can’t remember if he’s met before or not, the family is massive.

They were greeted with cheers and claps on the back when they’d first entered Christopher had cried and glared at his father until Eddie apologised for keeping his son away from Buck whilst he was in the hospital, Eddie reminded Christopher that he’d had a more important job away from the hospital before giving him a look that had Buck frowning, astonishingly Chris had grinned at father before running away giggling.

Eddie had refused to tell him what he meant by more important job just waved him off with a small later.

“Juice box?” TK offers with a smile taking a seat on the empty swing next to him.

Buck jumps a little from where he was staring at Eddie across the yard handing over some money to his mother and looks at the other man next to him holding out a juice box.

“Thanks” Buck laughs he wants a beer damn it.

“I’ve never really broken anything before” TK muses.

“I’ve broken too many bones perks of the job were in I guess” Buck shrugs wincing when it hurts.

“I did get shot about six months ago though, it resulted in a pulmonary embolism then I was in a coma for a few days other than that just scrapes and bruises well and an overdose” he looks sad and Buck wants to reach out and comfort him but they’re not there yet, probably never will be again.

“I had a date with this woman and me being the idiot I was I choked on food and she couldn’t get it out so she had to do an emergency tractotomy on me, then our Captain exposed a restaurant owner for burning down his own place and his son decided to get revenge by sending letter bombs to everyone involved in sending his dad down, he planted one on the ladder truck thinking my captain would be on it but he wasn’t that ended up crushing my leg, got a bunch of metal in there, so many surgeries I can’t even count them” Buck laughs his non-casted hand moving down to knock on his leg where he can still feel the rods sometimes.

“I pushed myself too hard, way too hard to get back to my station to get back to everyone I loved, ended up coughing up blood at my welcome back to work party because I had a bunch of blood clots, they put me on blood thinners which meant I wasn’t allowed back to work, I went all stressed and depressed and Eddie brought Christopher to me and he helped then of course because I have the worse bad luck on the planet a frigging tsunami hit the pier we were on and I lost him we both nearly died that day” 

“Jesus Christ, I saw that Tsunami on the news, caused by that massive earthquake off the coast of Alaska”

“I was messed up after that for a while” Buck nods “I made some stupid decisions but I never stopped fighting to get back to my team because I knew that’s where I belonged, doesn’t matter how many times life knocks you down Tyler as long as you keep getting back up, as long as you keep fighting, it doesn’t matter if you make mistakes along the way, every moment is a learning opportunity, nobody would ever learn if mistakes were never made,” Buck says finally looking at the other man.

“I get what your trying to say” TK smiles holding his juice box up and holding it out to Buck “To the future” 

Buck just laughs and clinks their boxes together “To the future” it’s silent for thirty seconds before buck looks at him again “You get I was trying to say your one of the strongest people I know right? You fight every single day to make sure you're clean and that’s more badass than any injury you might ever get” 

“I got that Evan thanks” Tyler laughs he wipes away a stray tear and Buck looks away catches Eddie's eye he and Carlos are watching them both, they both look proud and Buck rolls his eyes.

“So, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve dealt with since joining the Texas Fire Department?” Buck asks making conversation.

“We’ve dealt with tornadoes, but the freakiest thing I dealt with was when I got out of hospital, I was contemplating if the fire department was really what I wanted to do with my life when a solar flare hit Texas, everything electrical went crazy, the lights all went green and there was pile up next to the juice shop Carlos and I was at, it helped to show me that I was born to be a firefighter”

“I’ve never actually seen you in action but you look happier than you ever was back when I knew you, I’m guessing a lot of that is because you’ve found the right person for you just like I have, it’s amazing what the love of someone can do for you, just wait till you have a kid” Buck laughs.

“The night of the solar flare because of all the electrically charged particles in the air colliding with the earth’s magnetic field it created an aurora borealis, Carlos and I made it official that night” TK smirks.

“Aww that’s a cute story, Eddie and I got drunk and kissed then ignored each other for a week before Hen said we were acting weird locked us in the bunk room said we could call her to let us out when we were friends again and the next thing we both know Hen was walking back in on us making out half-naked” Buck snorts.

TK just bursts out laughing.

“Luckily we talked it out and agreed to give us a try, the risk to our friendship was massive but the possibility of something more was too good for us to resist I’m glad we took that chance” Buck admits.

“Me too,” Eddie says making Buck jump.

“Eavesdropper” Buck smirks up leaning forward and Eddie obliges him leaning down to give him a quick peck on the lips.

Carlos beckons TK over and Tyler goes willingly, Carlos wraps one arm around him but continues to stare at them with a smile on his face.

Bucks eyes scan the crowd and notice that everyone’s looking over at them as well.

“Why is everyone staring at us?” He asks his eyes settling on Eddie only to widen when he notices he’s down on one knee a ring box held out in front of him.

“I figured since you never actually got the chance to ask me, I could still technically ask you” Eddie smiles.

“We’re already engaged” Buck answers but the beaming smile won’t leave his face.

“Not until you’ve got a ring on your finger too,” Eddie tells him flipping the box open to reveal an engagement band similar to the one Buck bought Eddie but it’s got a crisscrossing pattern on it. “Chris went to pick it out with my mother whilst we were in hospital today” 

“It’s perfect” Buck smiles his hand moving forward to grab the ring.

“Not so fast Buckly” Eddie warns pulling the ring away “I still haven’t asked the question” 

“Well hurry up then” Buck snorts.

“Evan Danger Buckley, will you marry me?” 

“Danger?” 

“Well you know because Danger is your middle name, right?” Eddie teases.

“Ah ha, ha, hilarious” Buck tells him rolling his eyes.

“No seriously, Evan will you marry me?” 

“Obviously” Buck snorts leaning forward to capture Eddie’s lips in his own, the back yard erupts in cheers but Buck tunes them all out the only thing that he focuses on is Eddie slipping the ring onto his finger.


End file.
